Anyway, the formerly blonde pixie arrived at the red carpet with a big head full of orange prom hair and droopy breasts that would look more appropriate on the body of Phyllis Diller during a mammogram. Really. I shit you not. Jessica still looks like a sluttly porn star, but now she looks like one who's implants have been leaking for a few weeks and she threw them into an unflattering dress and went out to party instead of rushing to the doctor's office where she belonged. Damn those breasts are ugly and that hair - just don't get me started. When the only thing you've got going for you is your huge young perky breasts and beautiful blond locks, it makes no sense to do this to yourself. Just really sad.
"Hi boys. Like my saggy tits? I let them out just for you."
3 comments:
I have a feeling she'll go under the knife more willingly now that her sister had her shnoz clipped. If we're lucky, it'll be a Simpson Surgery Freeforall until they both look like that catwoman.
That would be awesome. But, she's already had work done. Haven't you seen those pics of her massively overplump lips? She's probably had a vagina tuck as well - I've heard all about how she's flying through the men of young Hollywood like a trapeze artist on speed.
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