E-Mail Spam Of The Day

Just got this e-mail in my spam box (exactly as written except for the website link):

Subject: For your wife’s last b-day you gave her a vibrator because of your hopeless Erectile Dysfunction.

For your wife’s 1ast b-day you gave her a vibrator because of your hopeless Erectile Dysfunction. By taking our new Soft Cialis Tabs you are bound to give her the best sex ever instead of miserable “battery dick”.

www.*****. com

Viagra@ tabs is for real men who h@ve their own style.

Denise

This e-mail has caused me a lot of anxiety. Here's why.

How in the Hell did they know what I gave my 'wife' for his last birthday?
How did they know my Erectile Dysfunction is hopeless?
If it's hopeless, why should I worry about taking Cialis? It is hopeless after all.
Why is "battery dick" miserable? Most of my female friends seem to like "battery dick", just look in their closets and bedside drawers for proof.
Why are they pushing me towards Viagra at the end of the e-mail when they've just sold me on Cialis?
If I buy the Cialis instead of the Viagra, am I a real man? Do I still have style?
Or if I buy the Viagra instead of the Cialis, am I still able to give 'her' the best sex ever, or will only the Cialis do that for me?

I'm so confused. This e-mail is killing me. I can't decide whether I want to give the best sex ever or be a real man with style. Which would my 'wife' prefer, I wonder? He already knows I'm not a real man and have no style, so my guess is that he would want me to give him the best sex ever. The Cialas it is then. Sheeeew - problem solved.