Trainwreck Of The Month: Ann Coulter

I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but Ann Coulter is the antichrist. Want proof? Well, she just released a book called Godless on 6/6/06. Now if that's not Ann trying to tell us something, then I don't know what is.


Godless? Yes Ann, yes you are.

Even though Godless: The Church Of Liberalism was just released, this isn't the first time Ann and her black heart have been in the glare of the media spotlight. It's just that the recent inclusion in her new book of pure hatred towards the widows of 9/11 victims that don't share her political views has made her a surprising media darling. It started on the day of the book's release (6/6/06) when she showed up at the Today Show at 7am in a slinky black cocktail dress (What, was she still taking the 'walk of shame' from the night before?) and Matt Lauer proceeded to ask her about the 9/11 widow quotes by reading her one. Here's the infamous exchange:

Lauer: "Alright on the 9/11 widows and in particular a group that had been outspoken and critical of the administration. 'These self-obsessed women seem genuinely unaware that 9/11 was an attack on our nation and acted as if the terrorist attack only happened to them. They believe the entire country was required to marinate in their exquisite personal agony. Apparently denouncing Bush was an important part of their closure process.' And this part is, is the part I really need to talk to you about. 'These broads are millionaires lionized on TV and in articles about them reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' death so much.'"

Coulter: "Yes."


Coming straight from the clubs at 7am, Ann tries to get Lauer to take her home.

All pretty disgusting, but then Ann continued her publicity tour all over the country, which recently culminated in an appearance on the Tonight Show With Jay Leno. Unfortunately, Jay Leno showed himself to be the big weenie we already suspected him to be when he didn't really ask her anything of significance and allowed her a free pass on the hateful rhetoric she was spewing and on all her recent controversies. You know David Letterman wouldn't have been so nice, but after seeing Letterman eviscerate Bill O'Reilly on his show this past Spring, Ann's smart enough to not make an appearance there in front of his New York audience anytime soon. Sadly, Leno's other guest, left leaning comedian George Carlin, didn't say a word and pretty much showed how age seems to mellow some people in a bad way. (You think a 70's era Carlin would have been that nice?) I'd like to think he was just so shocked by the realization he was actually sitting beside the antichrist that his brain couldn't register it all.


To keep him from asking her real questions, Ann finds the ugliest dress she can to distract Jay Leno on the 'Tonight Show'.

With all this publicity and her mastery of self promotion (which easily surpasses Michael Moore's any day of the week), Godless went to #1 on the bestseller charts. Obviously Satan couldn't let his little girl take a back seat to Mary Cheney's useless tome and discounted Ann's book everywhere, by over half it's list price in many places, so he could make sure she saw the top spot. The fix was in for Daddy's little girl.


"Yes, Beelzebub... I mean Daddy helped make my book number 1."

Like a good little Republican fanatic, Ann Coulter has proven herself over and over again to be a true hypocrite. As she has run around the country for the past few years promoting herself and claiming Democrats and Liberals have no sense of God, religion, right & wrong or morals, she continues to dress like a prostitute and holds up the biblical idea of human sexuality as the only option (marital, hetero, missionary-position sex only), all the while not seeming to practice what she preaches. Amazon - Joe Conason's 'Big Lies' Besides proving true many of the names that have been thrown at her, such as a evil blonde harpy, ugly bitch, heartless moron and anorexic shrew, she's also sometimes been accused of having problems with chemical influences that have affected some of her public appearances. News Hounds There's no way to truly know if it is chemicals that affect some of these appearances, instead of her just being plain batshit crazy, but another example of her obvious hypocrisy is that she is now being accused of plagiarizing parts of Godless and some of her other works. After seeing some of the examples, it's pretty darn obvious she did. The Rude Pundit However, if there is one thing that truly demonstrates her ability to roll with the big dogs in the Republican Party, it's that she is currently being investigated for a felony. That's right, if ever someone thought that Ann Coulter was really just a brilliant liberal performance artist creating a character to show how ridiculous most right wing pundits are, this new development finally proves she is truly an ethically challenged Republican hypocrite at heart. Ann has found herself to be in trouble with the law over the issue of felonious voter fraud in Florida as well as some other illegal homestead issues. Brad Blog I wouldn't expect anything less from the antichrist... or a right wing fanatic.


Yeah, I'd drink too if I had to attend the Republican National Convention.

I could continue to sit here and recount all the evil that Ann Coulter has unleashed on the world over the years, but it's silly to waste the time since you and I (and she, herself) know that she is the spawn of Satan. Instead, as my Trainwreck Of The Month, I'm just going to give you a little photo essay of some of Ann's glorious pics peppered with some of the many wondrous quotes she's made over the years. If your retinas don't melt away from looking directly at the Princess Of Darkness herself, then I hope you enjoy it.


Ann reportedly didn't like the way her legs looked in this pic. I think she should have been more worried about her face.

Also, for a very funny and very accurate review of Godless, check out the one here by Betty Bowers (who bills herself as 'America's Best Christian') on her hysterical website: Betty Bowers.


Is it me, or does the American flag in the background look like it's trying to inch its way out of the picture?

Ann Coulter: "My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building."


Ann's Grandma (and Satan's mother) carries Ann's book around as the evil equivalent to the Bible.

Ann Coulter: "...(T)he Democrats hit on an ingenious strategy: They would choose only messengers whom we're not allowed to reply to. That's why Democratic spokesmen these days are sobbing, hysterical women. You can't respond to them because that would be questioning the authenticity of their suffering."


Ann and her willing S&M buttboy, conservative talk show host, Sean Hannity.

Ann Coulter: "Press passes can't be that hard to come by if the White House allows that old Arab Helen Thomas to sit within yards of the President."


Ann poses with fellow Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Ann Coulter: (To a disabled Vietnam vet) "People like you caused us to lose that war."


The antichrist lets her inner darkness start to show as she stops to have her picture taken.

Ann Coulter: "We've finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism, and they don't want to fight it. They would, except it would put them on the same side as the United States."


Ann, back in the 90's, when she tried to be a brunette for a few weeks.

Ann Coulter: The "backbone of the Democratic Party" is a "typical fat, implacable welfare recipient."


Ann finishes up a radio interview, right before asking the DJ to play "The Macarena".

Ann Coulter: "We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee. That's just a joke, for you in the media."


Right where she belongs: Ann in a straight jacket.

Ann Coulter: "Usually the nonsense liberals spout is kind of cute, but in wartime their instinctive idiocy is life-threatening."


"Yes Daddy, I miss you too. I'll be back in the fires of Hell before you know it."

Ann Coulter: "My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now, but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism."


Ann tries out a new disguise to attempt and avoid the liberal paparazzi. Unfortunately it doesn't work.

Ann Coulter: "The thing I like about Bush is I think he hates liberals."


"No, no, really. There is no need to thank me and my Dad for the fallout after Hurricane Katrina. We would have been happy to help, but Bush managed to fuck it up all on his own."

Ann Coulter: "I am emboldened by my looks to say things Republican men wouldn't."


Ann dresses up at Halloween as the Republican's most feared boogieman: 'activist judges'.

Ann Coulter: "The presumption of innocence only means you don't go right to jail."


Ann training some of her evil minions who are disguised as self loathing closeted frat boys.

Ann Coulter: "If you don't hate Clinton and the people who labored to keep him in office, you don't love your country."


The Ann Coulter Mousepad: The bestselling item on her website's store.

Ann Coulter: "I think [women] should be armed but should not [be allowed to] vote."


With vasoline on the lens, the evil still manages to show through her oily exterior.

Ann Coulter: "I think there should be a literacy test and a poll tax for people to vote."


Even on the darkest night, Ann's inner light shines through.

Ann Coulter: "God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.'"


Ann in the 90's when she was trying to rock "The Rachel" hairdo. She never did get it right.

Ann Coulter: "Congress could pass a law tomorrow requiring that all aliens from Arabic countries leave....We should require passports to fly domestically. Passports can be forged, but they can also be checked with the home country in case of any suspicious-looking swarthy males."


A candid photo from Ann's vacation in Hawaii when she didn't bother to shower or use makeup for a week.

Ann Coulter: "[Liberals] are always accusing us of repressing their speech. I say let's do it. Let's repress them. ...Frankly, I'm not a big fan of the First Amendment."


A picture from Ann's secret porn past: Mentally preparing herself for the tabletop gangbang scene from "RNC: Republican National Cockwhore".

Ann Coulter: "Liberals have a preternatural gift for striking a position on the side of treason...Whenever the nation is under attack, from within or without, liberals side with the enemy."


Ann's secret to her youthful look: brains.

Ann Coulter: “The 9/11 Commission was a scam and a fraud, the sole purpose of which was to cover up the disasters of the Clinton Administration and distract the nation’s leaders during wartime. Not only did the Jersey girls claim credit for this Clinton whitewash machine, they spent most of the hearings denouncing the Bush Administration for not stopping the 9/11 attacks from the weak position handed it by the Clinton Administration.”


Ann in her leather wear, getting ready for her next session with Sean Hannity.

Ann Coulter: "To expiate the pain of losing her first-born son in the Iraq war, Cindy Sheehan decided to cheer herself up by engaging in Stalinist agitprop outside President Bush's Crawford ranch. ... After your third profile on 'Entertainment Tonight,' you're no longer a grieving mom; you're a C-list celebrity trolling for a book deal or a reality show."


Unlike Barbie, Ann wanted her doll to be realistic and made sure it has a gaping vagina and ripped up nipples.

Ann Coulter: "Liberals love America like O.J. loved Nicole."


Ann in the early 90's in Germany while she was following 'The Dead' around Europe with a caravan of hippies and gypsies.

Ann Coulter: "Liberals always get a lot of credit for suffering, while never actually being made to suffer."


Ann reading from her book at a local Barnes & Noble event.

Ann Coulter: "I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning. Boom!... They're a major threat. I just think it would be fun to nuke them and have it be a warning to... the world."


In case you didn't know, the antichrist drinks Diet Coke.

Ann Coulter: (on Islamic people) "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity."


Ann tries on her disguise again to try and sneak into the notoriously liberal charity event, 'VH1 Diva's Live'. Unfortunately, the fake breasts give her away this time.

Ann Coulter: "The truth is another hateful "bourgeois institution."...liberals always seem to be enthusiastically defending liars. Lying is their most cherished human activity."


This makes me ashamed to live in Boston.

Ann Coulter: "Whether they are defending the Soviet Union or bleating for Saddam Hussein, liberals are always against America. They are either traitors or idiots."


Ann and her bloodshot eyes after a particularly bad night.

Ann Coulter: "Anorexics never have boyfriends. ...That's one way to know you don't have anorexia - if you have a boyfriend."


Ann having a little fun and showing what she likes to do for Rush Limbaugh when he comes into town.

Ann Coulter: "You want to be careful not to become just a blowhard."


The true Ann Coulter finally shows her face.

****And a quote from David Letterman to close with that just about says it all: "Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi was the world's most unhinged lunatic. He's now dead. So that moves Ann Coulter up to first place."