Shiloh Jolie-Pitt: I've Got The Pictures First

The proud (and incredibly sexy) parents.

As you may know, it was announced this week that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have auctioned the first pictures of their newborn, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, to the highest bidder. People Magazine was the winner with a 4.1 Million Bid, which Brangelina is giving directly to the African charity of their choice. It makes sense that they would do this in order to soften the desire for paparazzi to get that first exclusive picture of the baby in this crazy celebrity obsessed world. And they also get to give a lot of money to needy Africans, which is a wonderful thing and fits right in with their do-gooder lifestyle.


"Oh Brad, I could have given you a pretty baby too. It would've had a crooked nose and stringy hair, but it still wouldn't have been as weird looking as Suri Cruise."

Well, I don't want to mess all this up for the Jolie-Pitts and People Magazine, but I've met with one of my Nigerian sources and have managed to get a copy of one of the pictures well before its US publication this Friday. I hate to throw a crimp in People's exclusive rights, but I can't resist publishing the photograph since I've got it. The pic is below and am posting it just for you. I know you can't wait and you want to see the otherworldly creature that is the offspring of the 2 most beautiful human beings on the planet. Already dubbed 'The Messiah' and 'Jesus Jolie-Pitt' due to the once in a millennia convergence of such perfect genetic material, Miss Shiloh does not disappoint. She's beautiful and will probably end up being the US President or Pope or the next Madonna one day. So check out the picture at the bottom of the post if you want to be one of the first to see what utter perfection looks like.


Just look at the parents, this baby will probably shit gold and cry holy water.

For your exclusive viewing pleasure, I present to you the breathtaking Shiloh Jolie-Pitt:

DRUMROLL PLEASE:


Shiloh, thy name is 'Perfection'!